Marriage in the Iban community quite unique because there are some rules before a couple is eligible to become husband and wife. In the Iban community, groom need to exceed age twenty-two years. This is because in that age, the men are prepared to get married. For the girl, there is no specific age set. A perfect marriage for Iban community is in compliance with the requirements of customary marriages. Parties in violation of any customary marriage are required to pay a fine to avoid a married couple calamity. Finding pairs depending on the situation at home, if the family is large, their children will be slower getting married. Instead, when a family member at home is small, their children will as soon as possible getting married with the hope of family in-law can help family to do certain work. There are several specific stages in the Iban marriage, which are merisik, propose, engaged, wedding and after wedding.
Merisik: In the Iban community, marriage is usually determined by the groom. If a single man has consented to a girl, her parents or representatives will visit girl’s home for merisik. Meetings of both parties also known asberbunga-bunga or berjarum-jarum. At that time the conditions of marriage will be determined including gift and many others. The men-side family will send entourage to propose girls if the meeting result was encouraging.
Propose and engaged: The male entourage is usually not less than five and most twenty people consisting of old people. At that time the conditions will be determined including gift or dowry and others. After reaching consensus, the father of the man removes lapit or silver belt or silver sword as a sign of engagement. Then both parties will discuss the date and day of marriage. Thence, the girl can no longer receive single-man visits except her fiancé.Two or three days later, the male representatives will inform the engagement news to relatives and neighbors.
Wedding Ceremony: Various wedding preparations will be made for the weddings that will arrive.The men-side family will provide expenditure and goods that must be given to family woman. Family women also make various preparations, including hunting animals for slaughtered on the day of marriage. To invite guests, both parties to appoint their representatives to manage wedding invitations. The representatives take a few strands of rope with knot that shows how many days left the marriage will be held. If the rope has a five knot, which means the marriage will be held within five days. Special representative will leave the rope with knot to the host or head of the house that is responsible for opening the knot rope every day
Propose and engaged: The male entourage is usually not less than five and most twenty people consisting of old people. At that time the conditions will be determined including gift or dowry and others. After reaching consensus, the father of the man removes lapit or silver belt or silver sword as a sign of engagement. Then both parties will discuss the date and day of marriage. Thence, the girl can no longer receive single-man visits except her fiancé.Two or three days later, the male representatives will inform the engagement news to relatives and neighbors.
Wedding Ceremony: Various wedding preparations will be made for the weddings that will arrive.The men-side family will provide expenditure and goods that must be given to family woman. Family women also make various preparations, including hunting animals for slaughtered on the day of marriage. To invite guests, both parties to appoint their representatives to manage wedding invitations. The representatives take a few strands of rope with knot that shows how many days left the marriage will be held. If the rope has a five knot, which means the marriage will be held within five days. Special representative will leave the rope with knot to the host or head of the house that is responsible for opening the knot rope every day